Dear Darling Daughter-
I can’t forget the first time I held you in my arms. You looked like a ball of candy floss bundled with all the love there ever was. I couldn’t believe I created something so magical. Today, five years hence, I still cannot believe that I created this wonderful human being that you are turning out to be.
A few weeks back, I was standing in front of the mirror looking at my stretch marks. There was a sadness on my face. The thought of not being able to wear crop tops again, of not being “beach ready” ever again, of not being able to flash my concave abs again, often make me feel that way. You were sitting close to me and being the keen observer you are, quickly asked me why was I looking upset. I told you I was looking at my marks and I wasn’t upset. But it isn’t easy to fool you. You were quick to add- “I know you’re upset that you have those marks mamma. But you know what? Those are God’s Blessings”. I gathered you in my arms and thanked the universe for the blessing you are.
Then once we had to go somewhere and I was changing one dress after another in the hope of looking better. Finally after trying almost a dozen, I just randomly chose something and wore. By that time I was so tired that I had no patience left for putting on any make up. I simply put some kajal, lip balm and walked out of the room. You looked at me with your typical “jaw dropped” expression. I couldn’t resist smiling because I knew what you’d say. You said “Mumma you are looking so beautiful. You’re the prettiest mumma ever. You look like a lovely Queen”. These are your three standard lines that you always compulsorily say every single time and I can’t tell you what it means to me.
You have made me feel beautiful even when I thought I was at my worst. No matter how sweaty I am, you never think twice before hugging me. Even when the cakes I bake turn out to be just fine, you never cease to say “my mamma makes the best cakes in the world”. No matter how much I just yelled at you for something silly, you never refuse to sleep next to me. No matter how many endless number of times I have failed to be the perfect mom, you still have always been my ardent unconditional lover. Because of you I know how flawed is the notion of perfection and how it’s just okay to be imperfectly perfect.
Every time I feel lost, all I have to do is reach out for your tiny cuddles. You, my girl, have been bringing a smile to my face every single time I am down and in doubt. Thank you for making me feel so beautiful inside and out. Mamma loves you, my eternal sunshine!